Anyone living in the kink community is bound to encounter frenzy at some point. It’s not uncommon to feel that You’ve entered a state of frenzy or to become concerned over another person’s risky decision-making when they’re in this mindset. This lesson reviews what frenzy is, how it affects submissives and Dominants differently and what We can do to protect Ourselves and others in the community.
What is Frenzy?
Frenzy is when a member of the kink community feels an intense need to experience kink right away without hesitation or foresight. The reason frenzy is so dangerous is that it makes people stray from conventional kink procedures, such as vetting their play partners, discussing safety measures and taking their time in relationships. Dom frenzy and sub frenzy are similar, but impact members of each kink role a bit differently.
sub Frenzy
When a submissive enters frenzy, they want to experience kink right this moment. It could be that they want multiple play partners so they receive more attention than a single Dominant can provide or that they want to feel like they have an immediate long-term commitment from someone. Signs of sub frenzy include seeking scenes with Dominants before discussing limits, safewords and aftercare, not taking enough time between scenes to recover properly and taking a collar from a Dominant without proper discussion.
Dom Frenzy
Dominants hold the control in a dynamic, so they’re also at greater risk when they’re in frenzy. They often throw safety conventions to the wind and could harm a submissive during a scene because of this. If a Dominant injures a submissive or assumes consent where there is none, there could be lasting psychological and legal implications for these actions.
Signs that a Dominant is in frenzy can include messaging submissives randomly in search of someone to play with or collar immediately, not taking time to vet submissives before play and failing to have the talk about safe words, limits and aftercare.
What to Do About Frenzy
The right strategy for dealing with frenzy may depend on whether You’re the individual experiencing it, You’re observed others in frenzy or You’re trying to protect others from people who are exhibiting it. On the Academy, You have the benefit of a staff that’s aware of the concept of frenzy, so You don’t need to address this issue alone. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a staff member if You’re not sure how to approach a situation.
If You’ve Observed Someone in Frenzy
To gain entry into the Academy, Everyone needs to pass the Initiate’s Exam. This guide offers information to answer the question on the test about frenzy, so people in Our community should be aware of what frenzy is. You could still ask the person if They remember what frenzy is and how Their actions might be construed as being in frenzy.
Without making accusations, simply provide observations and let the person know that You’re simply concerned about Their behavior. If the person remains in a state of frenzy, it might be time to involve Academy staff.
If You’re the One In Frenzy
It can be embarrassing if You’re the person experiencing frenzy. You might feel irresponsible, clingy, guilty or any other number of emotions. Your emotions are valid, but You should also keep in mind that frenzy happens to newer members of the community and seasoned veterans alike. If someone points out Your actions and mentions You may be in frenzy, the first thing You can do is slow down.
Take the time that You need to review Your actions, make anything right that You may need to and proceed carefully. Try to lean on members of Your support network and consider what may be putting You in Your frenzy state. Time and patience are often what You need to exit frenzy naturally.
Frenzy Prevention Strategies
Now that You know what frenzy is, You’re equipped to take measures to protect Yourself and the people You encounter from possible situations where You or They may be in a state of frenzy.
Set a Personal Policy to Take Things Slowly
If You make a strict commitment to follow the same procedure whenever You vet a play partner, You could protect Yourself when You’re tempted to take things quickly. For example, before You attend any play parties with local community members, meet kinksters at a munch where the expectation of play is absent.
You could also set a personal policy to require a set time period to pass before You agree to a commitment with someone.
Consider Protection Agreements
If You’re a Switch or a submissive, having a Protector to vet play partners can help You resist the urge to jump into relationships or play too quickly. Your Protector may also see the situation from a different angle and be able to point out red flags You didn’t see.
Have a Safe Call
It’s a good idea whenever You’re doing any play with someone for the first time to set up a safe call with someone You know. This can protect You from a lot of potential unsafe situations, including play with someone in a state of frenzy.
The Academy 